Men - 男人

由女王部落格轉貼的笑話。女士們看看是否身邊男人真是如下幾點。

For  all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY?  Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

2  Men are like. Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4.  Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5.  Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6.  Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.

7.  Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9.  Men are like . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10.  Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11.  Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12.  Men are like Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13.  Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

我試試看翻譯成中文意思順不順。考驗中文能力。

給那些說『如果可以喝到免費牛奶為何還要買頭乳牛回家』的男人們一個更新消息：今時今日有百分之八十的女人反對婚姻。為啥？因為女人們領悟到幹嘛那麼浪費錢買一整頭豬如果只是要一條小香腸。

男人就像：

1. 男人們像瀉藥。他們激發妳體內的廢物、垃圾（大便）出來。

2. 男人們像香蕉。越老越軟（這點翻譯簡單多了，上面那點想了好久。但是照英文直接翻譯應該是：男人像香蕉。年紀越大越不結實。但是我覺得翻譯是要簡短及意）

3. 男人們像天氣。無論妳做什麼也無法改變。

4. 男人們像果汁機（榨汁機、攪拌機）。妳需要一臺，但是不太了解為何需要。

5. 男人們像巧克力棒、條。又甜又滑嫩然後通常直往妳的臀部衝。（巧克力使屁屁變大的意思與男人的手都往屁屁招呼的意思）

6. 男人們像電視廣告，一個字都不可相信。

7. 男人們像百貨公司，他們的衣服永遠都是對折。（這個很難翻譯，1/2 off，指的是半價，但是1/2 off 也可以說是一半脫掉）

8. 男人們像公債，他們要好久好久才能兌現、成熟。（又是英文同字不同意義，mature - 個性成熟；存款、投資、債卷到期）

9. 男人們像睫毛膏，通常女人一有情感就先跑了。（不太懂，是不是指女人感動時掉淚把睫毛膏溶掉了？男人怕與女人發生感情，一見女人有動真感情跡象就像睫毛膏一樣先腳底抹油？？？）

10. 男人們像爆米花，他們讓你滿足，但是只有一下下。

11. 男人們像暴風雪，妳從來不知道他們何時會來，會有幾寸深（指長度）或會維持多久時間。

12. 不知道什麼是 lava lamp。感謝google，原來下面這個就是 lava lamp：男人就像 lava lamp，看來有趣但是不夠亮 （應該就是中看不中用的意思吧）

13. 男人們就像停車格，好的都被佔了，餘下的都是殘障的。

 

哇，要翻譯的好很難耶，而且花時間，看來翻譯外文小說的人薪水應該不低吧。